Chronicles of a Barista: 30 Days at The 'Bux

October 18:   Paperwork.  The Art of Coffee Tasting. The Art of Pairing. And 8 Booklets on How To Become the Ultimate Starbucks Barista… Lobby? Wha?

October 19:   Start time 4:30am.  Official First Day.  I normally sleep at 4am… ‘Nuf said for October 19th.

October 20:   4:30am, I’m in charge of the the pastry case… No one told me about the rubber gloves that fit nicely on your hands so I’m fumbling around in these oversized, plastic gloves that keep sticking to the cinnamon rolls… And it is at times like these when your forehead conveniently gets all itchy… Reacting naturally = Sugar glaze on yo’ face.  5:15am rolls around and I realize that, shit, the store is open and I’m only on the Petite Vanilla Scones. AGH!!! Why are there people up this early?!?!  5:30am, Geffin it as best as I can cuz, no one is saying anything cuz I’m new, but I know they’re all thinking, “geffit”.

5:35am, Prep. What?  Blonde barista named Amy teaches me how to make prep…Starts off with: “So, ‘so-and-so’ trained me and she was a hard ass…” and then doesnt say anything… I think she was making a point so I pay HELLA attention. Frappuccino base, creme base, lights, mochas, signatures, goffit… Kinda.

More book time. And then I’m thrown on the Bar.  I’m given a run down of how to brew/rebrew coffee… Shots: 1,2,2  Pumps: 3,4,5…Iced=6… Americanos: One more. Caramel Macchiatos: One less.  A Hot Venti is Twenty, An Iced Venti is TwentyFour. Why? No time for questions, the Persian guy is staring…

10am rolls around and I’m tested.

Manager: “Please make me a tall cappuccino.”
Me: Ooooohhh, Caps are my thang… Goffed it.
Manager: Checks the weight, checks the foam… “I’m impressed”
End of Day Two.

October 21:  On my own making the Prep. So I thought I had it down…
Frappuccinos, Check.
Creme-Base, Check.
Lights, Check.
Mocha, Check.
Signature Hot Chocolate… . . I basically go by instinct on this one. Everyones so busy with other things, and I feel bad asking for help. I definitely do not know what I’m doing and after about 9 minutes of hot water and bags of signature powder mix, I’ve created some kind of thick-ass chocolate goo…like, straight up. thick. ass. paste.  My supervisor finally notices me trying to un-goo my life and comes over.  He stares at what I’ve done for about 47 seconds in silence and then goes, “…. yea…. that’s not right….” He picks up the jug of, what can now only be construed as chocolate cement, and sees that there are two pieces of the mixing tool floating around in it… (Yes, that’s how thick the paste was).  My dumbass response to the awkward silence: “yea…. the thing kept breaking inside…”

My supervisor:  “….yea….I’ll finish this…you go ahead and sign on the right register…”

4 outta 5 aint bad I guess :/
End of Day Three.

Elie Wiesel

(Excerpt from his Nobel Peace Prize acceptance speech)

“….And then I explained to him how naïve we were, that the world did
know and remained silent.

And that is why I swore never to be silent whenever wherever human
beings endure suffering and humiliation.

We must take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim.

Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.

Sometimes we must interfere. When human lives are endangered, when
human dignity is in jeopardy, national borders and sensitivities become
irrelevant.  Wherever men and women are persecuted because of their race,
religion, or political views, that place must — at that moment — become the center of the universe.”

Go now, and live.

Smart Water

You know when you’re EXTREMELY thirsty…

…like right after a packed dance class at millennium and you can’t find a dollar to save your life to buy a bottle from the front desk and everyone around you that you’re supposed to go eat with after class is loitering like a muther because dancers are kings and queens of loitering and other people are offering you a sip from their smelly nalgene bottles but you don’t really wanna sip from it because all that’s left is backwash and possible swine flu bacteria swimming around in it…

Well.  I was EXTREMELY thirsty like that the other day.  I got to Panera Bread, parked, and with an empty Smart Water bottle I found in my car, I ran inside to fill that ish up with some ice cold H2O.

Ok.  So you know how when you’re EXTREMELY thirsty and you finally have a full bottle of ice cold water in your hand, all you can now do is suck on that damn bottle like NO other…  to the point where the bottle starts crinkling and getting all deformed because not only are you trying to suck all the water out of it, you’re sucking any living shit out of it too.  At this point your body just starts getting kinda desperate and you feel more thirsty for some reason… Well I caught myself.  And then came to a pause to let the bottle reshape itself into it’s original form.  Take two.  With some air between my mouth and the bottle, I let the water just naturally pour into my mouth.  No sucking.

Though it felt like it took longer to drink that way,
my thirst
was finally
quenched.
And then my glorious caesar salad/creamy tomato soup combo was ready.

MORAL of the story:

Sometimes it’s best not to force things to go in your direction.  If you can go with life’s flow, it will naturally start going with yours too.  Know what you want and know what you need, but don’t forget to let a little air in every now and then.

Sucking will only destroy.

It’s like looking at a crooked frame on the wall…

If Beauty was the Beast...

So I am a Disney kid… I grew up watching and living through the magical world of Disney.  I was unsettled when Disney bought Pixar in fear that ‘old school’ Disney would be lost forever.  BUT.  It is a new generation… a generation deprived if you ask me, but a new one nonetheless.  Earlier this summer, Disney secured a buyout for Marvel Entertainment for like six billion gazillion fafillion dollars… I didn’t know how to feel about that then, still don’t know now… But man. Disney is sooooo smart dude.  I mean, if they wanted, they could pretty much rule the world.

Anywho.  This should be good for Marvel I presume… the exposure and global reach that Disney has…now the Superheroes of Marvel will have too.

Mickey Mouse and SpiderMan in the same parade? Whaa?

Now imagine… if Beauty was the beast…

By Illustrator Jeffrey Thomas long before the buyout took place but it’s an interesting take on what a Disney and Marvel mashup might look like, don’t ya think?

Anniversary.

September 16, 2009

Today a VIP of mine…(Very Important Pisces) pointed out to me that I am as old as the alphabet is long… 

hmph.

Then I realized. That we. Will never stop graduating. We SHOULD never stop graduating.  We should always strive to be better than who we were yesterday and constantly work to be the ultimate human.  How bittersweet is it that I only have 364 more days of fitting perfectly into the Alphabet…the staple symbol of our childhood.

hmph.

On another note. Shouldn’t we call our birthdays “anniversaries” since after the actual birth day, it’s really not our ‘birthday’ anymore. ‘Anniversary’ has a better celebratory ring to it:)  Like, “Happy 26th Year Anniversary!” The work put in to 26 years of being the best Anika Miura, or whoever, you can be is better acknowledged don’t ya think?

Anyway.

I never forget, but I’m always reminded… I really do have the greatest people in my life.  It’s a Good Life.

Love Always,